7 Things I would tell a Younger me

 

What would you say to your younger self?

This is a question I pondered when I saw a photograph recently of a young man taken 30 years ago.

A picture of a young man with the innocence and bright eyes of hope and expectation.

About to graduate business school and enter a world with different rules and an environment harsher than the one he had grown up and protected from.

A photo I had never seen before, and couldn’t remember being taken, and one that rocked me some because the subject’s perceived naivety.

I wanted to ask him at that moment of time, what he hoped for, believed in, and what the future held?

In return I would give him the heads up. Maybe give him the edge to get ahead faster, further but not rob him of the challenge and exuberance of personal independence.

I saw as my 7 pearls of wisdom.A list that would not overwhelm him but serve him all his life. Give him a short cut.

"Keith, can I have a moment? Why yes” he says. "Who are you? You look familiar?” He adds.

"Lets say I know you and thought some words of advice might help. it could save you a lot of time, and emotion." I add.

"Yes, okay sounds okay."

“Please . If I could leave them with you, but then I must rush and won’t be able to discuss them.

"But we’ll catch up in the future.”

“Okay.” He looks bewildered and puzzled but respectful as I knew he would be.

I begin.

1/ What goes around, Comes around

Don’t worry where you start, it only matters where you finish. Over time those who finish first, will finish last and vice versa.

Life is unpredictable. Play the hand you are dealt. Never compare yourself with another be it money, skill, family, looks or material

goods. Because when we compare, we draw comparison with someone’s best with our worst. A comparison that will never win for you.

If you hang in there, and want it badly enough, you will achieve it, have it, or become it over time.

2/ Don’t become Good, become Great

The world is full of good people. Good has become the new normal of mediocre. If you think people are scared of failure wait to you find how people

are more afraid of something else. Success. Of being great. Why you might ask? You will be warned by others, people who are your closest

in a bid to save your from hurt, disappointment. Don’t aim so high. Have realistic expectations they will say. They know if you become great at something it threatens their own standing. Their own self esteem and acceptance of mediocre. The most competition takes place at the ‘good' level. Its rarified air where the “great’ populate. Aim for the stars. Live your dreams Remember the competition is at its most at the level of good.

3/ When the Student is ready, the Teacher will come.

You are about to graduate from RMIT. Good. Now the learning starts. You think now you have finished that you should be entitled to top dollar from the getgo.

Son the learning is only now about to start. Your ‘piece of paper’ just gets you into the game. It is no guarantee you will get a job, and if you do, you will feel you are underpaid for that job, fore in your mind it doesn’t match the level of effort and training you have had. You are about to learn a major life lesson, unless you are joining the public service, which you aren’t, you are paid in arrears for results not time. Your best employers' will select you on your attitude and not on your skill.

You are about to become part of one of the most dynamic periods of human existence and change will be exponential.You will be both challenged but rewarded if you keep ahead of the change continuum. The only thing you must do is become a life long learner. Many will not. There is the opportunity.

4/ In Credit we Distrust.

With prosperity, which you will be front centre of, will come all sort of ‘toys’ and 'must haves'. What’s more you will want it all, and now. You will not earn enough fast enough to pay for them all. Enter credit. Eager. Seducing banks and financial institutions.

You will appease your conscious knowing that there is arguably good debt and bad debt. I will not be able in your early years to stop you falling under the spell of such economic devices. But I do say to you seek out and learn to understand the concept of Compound Interest. Better known as the 8th wonder of the world.

5/ To have good friend, be a good friend

You have established good relationships with many friends, through family school and soon work. Many of these people will wash through your life, just as you will with them. That is not a disadvantage or a negative but whilst you have common goals your relationship will be tight and meaningful.

But as time, jobs and roles change so will the range and composition of these colleagues and associates. But a handful will mean more to you than others. But good friendships don’t just happen. They must be worked on continually and pro-actively.

Don’t wait for others to contact you, and remain aloof and remote. You must be willing to be a good friend first, to have good friends who will be there for you.

6/ Be a Goal setter, but also appreciate Happenstance and Serendipity.

You will be bitten early the need for lists and goal setting. In fact you will become a goal setting fanatic, that will rise to another level the day you find out about SMART.

But don’t become a good luck denier. Appreciate yes you do make some of your own luck, but there is a major part of life made of serendipitous occurrences and randomness.

Being in the right place at the right time. Meeting your future wife, a night you worked in a bar she walked in with friend, the day you called in in the off chance of seeing a mate and his boss offering you a job that would change your future. Your parents moving to he other side of town when you were 17 years, an action that was deliver your 15 minutes of fame.

So be on the look out for those opportunities that others may just call luck.

7/ You have but one thing. Time and not enough of it.

Understand as change accelerates in the very near future, it has an invert relation with Time. Relatively it becomes shorter.

You have arrived on Earth, and like everyone else, you have arrived with one thing (other than the fear of loud noises) and that is Time.

You have the same number of minutes in the hour, hours in the day, and days in the year. Your life will be run by the clock. Whilst people speak of getting more time, they can’t

You should look to leverage your own. Leveraging your money for greater return, in the least amount of time. Saving your own time by employing others, to leverage your skills and through the time and specialist training of others.

Minimising the wasting of your time through mechanical devices (whether that be through inventions of the future Microwaves, Computers, Blowers, and faster cars and jet planes.- on second thought forget I said blowers!)

When you apply your own time treat all things equal, but some things more equal than others. Base your allocation of your time according to priorities which flow from your goals. The challenge is to stop distractions ( your’s and other people’s) and appreciate Vilfredo Pareto’s 80/20 rule.

But remember its latter than you think. But not to late to learn.

Finally. Life is Short. Enjoy it. Don’t take it or yourself to seriously.

Laugh.Laugh often. Laugh louder and longer. And most importantly enjoy the ride! I know it is going to be a great one.

"Keith don’t worry if these things don’t make sense now. They will eventually.’ I finish.

"Oh no!” He says. " Some sound helpful. But I guess I am a different type than you.”He adds. "You seem a little heavy and too serious.And if you don’t mind me saying. A little spooky! I could never be you."

"Bye the way who is it we know in common?" He asks inquisitively.

"Sorry Keith, got to run. We will meet I am sure sometime in the future.” I finish.

"Wait, wait before you go!! “ He yells after me.

"Hey you left something.

"This rectangle thingy. With the bitten apple…"

"Hey you…."

A YOUNG WOMAN"S COURAGE is an example to us all

She is a young girl with a stick. I am terrified.

She is blind to the danger. I just watch in awe to see how courageous she is.

Let me explain. I live near a very busy intersection, which is the southern arterial into Melbourne CBD. An 8 lane high road (4 lanes each direction), which I daily walk cross, but never without great awareness and caution.

Apart from the thunderous roar of 180,00 cars, trucks and bikes daily the intersection has traffic lights to give direction to right and left turning traffic and, to when is safe, for pedestrians to cross. Even when I take guide from the 'green man' when to cross I do with the utmost of caution as vehicles run amber and red lights showing almost fatal disregard to others in a race across town to their destination.

To underpin my caution I unconsciously put my senses of hearing and sight on notice for danger as I cross for the unpredictability of drivers and riders.

Often I see this young blind girl with a white cane girl tentatively but confidently feel her way by a guiding her cane, hearing, and feeling her way.

How does she and many like her have the courage to do that? Have you ever seen someone like that and asked yourself? What if they get it wrong? Taking just one false step could be fatal.

With all her courage and risk involved in just getting to work or school( the Blind institute possibly her destination 3 kilometres away) she could show us a thing about how we could get from our own life. You see whilst she in conjunction with a 'seeing' guide would have repeatedly covered the route in preparation for her first solo trip and note key points to navigate future occasions, many we would be unawares of like the 'lego" pavement signalling to her she is approaching the intersection, and also using her sense of smell for trees and flowers to indicate her location.

But this young girl, and the many others like her can teach us a thing about life and how to be more adventuresome and successful.

But as good as her senses and helped by the many digital tools she obviously cannot know all the details and steps how to get from A to B. She takes risks just by venturing out of home in the belief they have the preparation and skills to get from one side of the city to the other.

But often in our setting of our goals we hesitate to take action and step forward until we see al the steps to the destination. We suffer bouts of procrastination and falter to take action because we cannot see all the steps in high detail.

So our goals are on the wimpish side. We are risk adverse.

In these circumstances, if we stretch at best, our goals will be just outside our comfort zone. If this had always the case we wouldn't have a man on the moon and someone like Richard Branson would be a record store owner. Christopher Columbus would have taken 15 century tourists on day jaunts off the Spanish coats and Australian PM , Tony Abbott still a concrete plant manager(which in this case may have been a good thing.)

In our goals we must accept to make great progress in our life, we may not see all the detail or steps along the way. But trust our ability, our learned skills and hone our senses to pick up on the clues and the talisman along our route to our destination.

Life is risky. Our goals have options of risk and failure. Just as Columbus did to take the risk of his life and leave the safety of the shoreline. But the risk makes the achievement so much sweeter. Kennedy would never have made the statement in 1960 to go where no man has gone before if he thought it would not have motivated and galvanised a nation. (He was to pay the ultimate price in his goal to unify his presidency when he travelled south to Dallas that fateful day in November 1963.)

A critical characteristic of entrepreneurs is they have a scotoma which is a partial blind spot in their vision. I know in ventures I have started there were blind spots that latter when I realised, I shuddered and say to myself "what was I thinking?"

One major venture I started in a recession with limited promise of clients. I do wonder if i new then what I know now, I would have taken the punt and ventured past my own shore.

Inspirational speaker Denis Waitley nailed it when he said: "A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.

Our comfort zone can be our greatest challenge to our ability to achieve our destiny and promised greatness. Setting goals within our comfort zone can at the best promise that we can ever achieve above 'good'. We are likely to die with songs unsung, books unwritten, sporting records unchallenged and egos unfractured.

But if we do?

Can be summed up by Tan Le; "I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough to know that yes, the world doe fall apart but not in the way we fear."

What Reality TV Can Teach us about Surviving our World

                                                 

"I AM A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE ! is about to start on Oz TV. I know because the overflow of hype is even getting to me. 

Its about B lister wannabes  dropped into the African jungle to mingle in an environment of things that creep, crawl, sting and bite.

Even Betfair is running a book. Who will re-enter the known world with bragging rights to King or Queen of the jungle? Also giving odds who will be the first to pull the pin? I would  bet on me the first to go AWOL. Why because I am a card caring member of the cowards' club that freaks when a leech attaches itself whilst I was swimming in waterholes in Jabiru, NT.

But maybe even here in this latest television reality show there are secrets to learn for our success.

You see I am a great believer that in the most negative circumstances comes a point of positive learning that we can benefit from. So be it, even if it is  contrived reality TV.

Without knowing all the rules and conditions of the show, the last man or woman standing, will be the result of a series of challenges based on human nature which go back to our origin and survival. We could learn from this to make our own life more successful.

The eclectic celebrity group pitched against the wilds of the jungle will require the collaboration of others to get them through the  hostile environment. Individuals who didn't know each other weeks ago will be forced to team, communicate and empower each other. Certainly in the early stages to survive the conditions ( and the rules). As light and entertaining as this contrived adventure 'soapie' will be, it is a metaphor why we are the dominant species on our planet.

Hebrew University of Jerusalem,  Professor, Dr Yuval Noah Harari (author of 'A Brief History Of Humankind')  on respected Radio National 'Big Ideas' recently  spoke in his keynote address why Homo Sapiens (i.e. us) are the lone surviving species ( there were 6 originally and we are the remaining one), what led to the demise of our 'competition' and what was the one characteristic that got us top of the heap in the animal kingdom. 

He believes it was the unique ability to collaborate,  to cooperate flexibly in both small and large numbers, form into clans, tribes and later nations.

No other animal species can do that (although many form herds and groups ) but not in major numbers . This has led us , till now at least, to prosper and take on enemies and competitor species. (BTW - it looks like our prehistoric antecedents had blood on our hands and guilt with the fate of the other 5 species including Neanderthals.)

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY. Each of us form teams with people we know intimately and able with those we have just met ( the escape of a pair caught in the Sydney siege were not to each other hours before) to achieve mutual goals.  Parents form a bond to educate and raise their children,  sporting clubs to win premierships,  and organizations to meet charitable causes , and armies to defend and see off invaders.

We are social creatures, that would not survive today if it wasn't the interdependence with others. Adam Smith's specialization of labor saw to this.

While we depend on Coles or Woolies to feed us, I shudder to think how our life would change and  what would happen if we reverted to the store open hours of the 60s and 70s. IMAGINE  not being able to buy liquor after 6pm and closed on Sundays.

This may be all apparent with essentials on Maslow's Hierarchy, but I am not sure we appreciate  how we could take it to the next level and maximise this effect.

Lets face it. Life is tough. Not many of us get to the top of the ladder. Its as if we haven't been given the code to get past struggle street. This can be demonstrated by the few 'haves' and the many 'have nots". Also supported by stats which has 80% of the community on some form of welfare.  What I propose is that each of us to survive and prosper in this dynamic and complex world should appoint  and form our own specialist team (high performance coaches if you would) but in all areas of our and our families life and development. To look after and ensure our health, wealth and prosperity. You might think what I propose in fact takes place. I agree but more on an adhoc basis and not too the level and high standard we should aim for. A collaboration of a highly skilled group there for us.

Even Colliers International, commercial real estate giant has stopped 'hot desks' in preference to chairs and desks that can  be configured into collaborative groups at will.

This  team of high standard specialists that known to us and appointed by us  are fully briefed committed to  our aspirations. For example Team Millar would comprise:

• GP Medical doctor                                               
• Solicitor
• Parenting  Expert    
• Career councilor
• Mentor
• Psychologist
• Happiness expert
• Dietician
• Health and Wellbeing coach
• Financial & Investment advisor

Today we find ourselves too busy to attend a doctor regularly, we go to a local lawyer at the corner, we rarely seek out parenting advice preferring to learn on the job, badly fitted to jobs we are poorly trained for and usually hate, suffering mental illness ranging from mild bouts in depression to bi polar.

The most richest and successful, from Bill Gates to Google's Eric Schmidt, say that everyone should have a mentor and coach. As for health, happiness and diet very few give a second thought yet many say they are unhappy betting big time on winning the lottery to solving this.

History tells us, we are served on a needs basis in each of these areas often by people who have dubious communication skills and usually at best mediocre . The excuse is time , money or that we see each as a commodity that can be purchased at a moments notice. Absolutely correct. If we are willing to gamble with such life affecting areas and accept whatever the outcome from people who are chosen because they are geographically handy.

Alternatively each appointed to our DREAM team ( such for the example, Team Millar) would be scrutinised closely and  highly detailed on the family and each's aspirations. Client service, professional knowledge and ability to communicate in non professionalese would be expected premium standard. They would be pro active in meeting our needs and as concerned and committed about us achieving our goals as we are.

Their service would  include at least annual reviews, webinars for people to catch up from the comfort of their homes, and educational seminars. (Seminars and virtual meetings will become common as the high speed NBN  is rolled out).  Importantly these would not be an excuse to 'flog' a product of the moment which many today financial advisers are guilty, but to add to their clients' knowledge about their personal success and well being.

The Dream team of your own key band of people who would simply know where WE stand,  where WE are heading and provide a pro active means of how WE might  get there.

Will the appointment to our first 11, become common. Sadly no. People preferring,  by default of the rushed society we live today, taking the transactional approach to life.

Is it a new idea? No! But it is done to a limited extent by some of  the most successful in our community. Should it be done by more. YES. and whats more a happiness and well being , let alone financially, a 'business case could be made which shows how much better we would be off.

Maybe its worth a try, just  to over come the challenges of Today's world. Not the least being mediocre professional service.

4 Things to do to CRANK UP the year!

Start of the Year

Resolutions we don’t stick to, and within a short time, its business as usual.
The Cause: Because we are unreasonable with what we want and the habits we are able to change.
The Answer: Make the changes EASY, REALISTIC, EMOTIVE and can be quickly RECALLED and REMEMBERED.

Here are my suggestions you might try. Importantly they will have an immediate impact on your year

They are:

• Don’t set monthly goals, set QUARTERLY  goals instead- factors out the seasonality

• Throw EVERYTHING at the year early to get momentum.

• Pick only ONE most major thing for the quarter that must be done.- Focus on the biggest obstacle, greatest challenge, or relationship needed to be developed or fixed

• Build your business on referrals and become referable.To do that Arrive on time, Do what you said  you would do, AND Say PLEASE and THANK YOU.

Hard. I wouldn’t have thought so!

Go on. Go on try it. I dare you!

Remarkable People leave their mark on Us.

IN LIFE WE HAVE  exposure to remarkable people. These people have an influence and help form the person we are today.

For me several come to mind and from each I received priceless advice which still has currency today.

"You know being married for life is a long, long time." That was said by my maternal grandmother who I loved unconditionally and who is the only person I have uncontrollably cried for when I was told of her death.

When she said that I was in early teens and didn't quite appreciate what she meant. 40 years married I now more than ever appreciate what she was conveying. What she was alluding was in marriage you must continue to work at and never become complacent. Once I realised my wife was not the enemy, but my best friend and ally the longevity was never going to be an issue- well not for me. I now believe and understand the importance of a good partner in your success.

 Early in my 20s I was taught that the Question punctuation is more powerful than the Exclamation mark. I had a boss, the owner of a travel tour packaging company, and as a sales representative for Venture holidays I would meet with him at the end of the week in his office for a verbal summary. Mr Cook would never lecture or give instruction but calmly, and methodically ask and lead me to points he wanted me to understand and adopt with well structured and probing questions. Once I realised the power of such an approach I adopted as my own approach with associates, prospects and direct reports. Interestingly Tom Hopkins uses the same approach with a  pack of cards to demonstrate how he can get a predetermined answer through strategic questioning.

My mentor and good friend Tony Bongiorno helped my epiphany of the importance knowing the continuum of the sales process. Once this mystery was revealed I realised why I was missing opportunities, and just how important that it formed the basis of my success. And an important aspect with  those I coach no matter what their role or industry. I also realised over time, how many don't know or apply this key business development skill. Telling is certainly not Selling.

A man I never met, but read an attributed quote which also forms my approach to life,  first in business but one I also applied to my friends and family. He was the founder of Mattel, the toy company better known for Barbie and GI Joe who said "Never offer a Solution before you get the person VERBALISE the problem" After reading and understanding what he meant I never again went into a meeting without doing this and reaping the benefits of this approach. Priceless. Thanks Mr Mattel.

My learnings have not just from old wise heads but sometimes from the people I have mentored. Young Matt Bugg a toy industry up and coming executive shared with me the quote he liked: "When things aren't adding up begin subtracting" You need to be open to ideas and sometimes switch roles where the teacher becomes the student. Thanks Matt .

Whilst you might read and hear quotes and ideas a million times they often just bounce off, or we may be not ready for this new information. In effect we don't really internalise this new knowledge and adopt the action. Let alone convert to habit. But if you are committed to the idea of being better than who you are and pursue a life of mindfulness and learning it can  hit you like a bolt of lightning from the blue.

One of the ways I remind myself of this state of awareness is to every day review the past 24 hours and write a list of bullet points of Wins, Learning, Success and Progress. My aim is to have a 30 point list at the end of each day. These points could be small or big, My aim is for incremental improvement but also I realise that when I do have major break throughs to recognise such occasions and I give myself bonus points. If I am having a purple patch and get my 30 points, I immediately close 'shop' and give myself the reward of finishing my work early and indulge in a passion of the time.

One final key learnings which means more to me today than in my early years . Its importance grows with passing years. I read it in the  forward of autobiography of my good mate and lifelong friend Ian (Molly) Meldrum, music journalist and TV compare whose life came crashing down and dramatically changed when he fell from his roof as he made ready his house for a Christmas party 2 years ago. He said: LIFE IS SHORT!

For me it underscored the importance of what is important and I know it's not money! But health, family and friends. To take more risks, laugh more, and every opportunity to tell people I love them.

I would be interested to hear what your primary principles and ways you lead your life.


Keith Millar
Millar Inc
"Making GOOD people GREAT

How my own war of the roses could threaten to make me smarter!

MY WIFE IS A  minimalist and I am a spreader and I am loosing the battle.

Let me explain.

My wife hates clutter A place for everything and everything in its place. You know the deal. Me? I start in one location and overtime spread.

In a bid for co-existence and harmony I really work hard to comply. But I am now down to one last piece of real estate in my home. My treasured book shelf in my study, which also is our shared office. "When are you going to get rid of that crap?" She regularly asks? Well I have told her I am going to bequest these hundred of books to my children and grand children. She laughs and responds  "what did they ever do to you to deserve that" Not funny! I think.

So to keep my spirit up and galvanise my determination to hold my ground I came with a goal. I have always looked to find the seed of equivalent benefit from a challenging situation. So my goal was to read every book in my bookshelves. Some 500 books and still counting.

I had been a lazy student in my youth. Preferring to play sport and participate in the social side of school. As I got older that changed and I became the eternal student continually looking to improve myself. It has become an obsession and reading books has been a growing passion. So my library is made up of personal development and biographies of the famous and the successful.

Ironically it was one of my heroes and great mentors, leadership guru Paul J Meyer said we should read less books. I was aghast when I heard this as it was totally at odds with my pursuit for greater knowledge. Until I realised what he in fact was saying. That we shouldn't rush from one book to the next without first understanding and  applying  the learnings before moving on to the next wiz bang concept. Everyone seemed to be looking for the quick fix.

Paul was a great advocate of repetition and developing habits to shape character.

So in concert with Paul pleas for us to understand and apply the learning from the reading
I intend to:

* read each book twice
* mark up each book for references so that I might review latter
* build relevant parts into my coaching curriculum
* create a PP and submit to Slide share
* do a workshop on the book to my peers, and finally write a blog post and share on my    LinkedIn profile.

Always up to a challenge I wonder if I have bitten off more that I can read.

In the meantime I would be interested as to how you seek out new knowledge, retain and apply this to your work and life.

What is your Coaching Philosophy?

HOLIDAYS  BRING an opportunity to take a break and importantly reflect.

During the year I read in the sports media, when a new coach is appointed it referred to thier coaching philosophy, and to the young candidates that failed to get the nod  they were encouraged to take the rebuff as an opportunity to get clarity for their own coaching philosophy .

This got me thinking as what my own executive coaching philosophy is?

With contemplation I formulated  into 10 foundation keys which form the basis of my own coaching philosophy:

( I have divided into two halves for ease of reading.)

1/ Radiant thinking

In Coaching we must start somewhere. I practice radiant thinking, starting  with yourself, the Coach. First, I ask could I add value to this person, could I work with this person,

do I have empathy, what is my first impression, will this person be low or high maintenance and finally can we have some fun on the journey? These are questions I may have skipped over in my younger years, but now realised life is to short to work with people who may not meet this  criteria. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is not about me its about them, but the relationship must be built on a foundation of respect and trust,  win/win outcomes.

2/ Never offer a solution until you first have the listener  speak the problem

We being coaches are so eager to solve problems and offer advice, even when it hasn’t been asked for or verbalised. We don’t stop to ask if this is their problem, we are impatient and eager to set things right.

The listener nods his or her head …but doesn’t hear a thing!  So save your time and the frustration  when we realise the advice we suggested has not been taken.

The President of Mattel Toys (makers of Barbie and GI Joe) said: “Don’t offer a solution until the prospect verbalises the problem.

Excellent advice and true. But how you ask? That is the skill and discipline of a trusted adviser. Disciplined to refrain from offering the answer. And skill to ask the questions which will get the person to identify and voice the problem. If we say it they half believe it, if they say it they 100% believe.

3/ Save the Plasma for the Living

Not everyone will welcome your advice or take it. Some people are beyond help or have a greater desire to be the eternal victim. Or maybe its just a timing thing.

Salve your ego, and move on. Save your time and hurt and transfer your attention to those who want to be better than what  they presently, respect you and will actually put to action what you have recommended

4/ Three strikes you’re out.

You are most likely like me, in that you tend to see the world through rose colored glasses and give people continuous chances in their dealing with you. It might come with age but at some stage you say "what’s happening here?”. I now give people 3 chances for major misdemeanours. On the 3rd strike I adjust my relationship and in many cases move on- whether they be associates or  clients. This may be a little harsh and I am sure it is totally not their fault, but for whatever reason I settle for  less hassle and stress in my life.

5/ Its okay to fail

I once believed that failure was not an option and when it did I saw it as a total failure of me. In one business venture, I vowed I would succeed or  die trying. The latter I nearly realised. I learned before it was too late that sometime you must walk away if it is not working- for what ever reason. Failure should always be considered a valid option. It is foolishly and delusion to think otherwise. If you can walk away after giving it your best shot. Similarly you should sometimes tell the bad news to a client you are coaching if it’s not working for them. Time to shut shop and try something else. They will likely at some point thank you.

6/ The Question mark is more powerful than the Explanation point.

If we are going to bring about meaningful, sustainable change we must disturb the pattern of our client’s  thinking . This can only be done through questions which on one hand shows respect and on the other hand asks for  a review of their attitudes and current stand. We habitually make statements (which of course is figuratively followed by and exclamation mark) and is challenging the other party position. The  most likely response is for them to dig in and defend their position.

So it is with questions we are going to get the others  to embrace change. Try it!

What is your coaching philosophy?