Friday, January 30, 2015

Remarkable People leave their mark on Us.





IN LIFE WE HAVE  exposure to remarkable people. These people have an influence and help form the person we are today.

For me several come to mind and from each I received priceless advice which still has currency today.

"You know being married for life is a long, long time." That was said by my maternal grandmother who I loved unconditionally and who is the only person I have uncontrollably cried for when I was told of her death.

When she said that I was in early teens and didn't quite appreciate what she meant. 40 years married I now more than ever appreciate what she was conveying. What she was alluding was in marriage you must continue to work at and never become complacent. Once I realised my wife was not the enemy, but my best friend and ally the longevity was never going to be an issue- well not for me. I now believe and understand the importance of a good partner in your success.

 Early in my 20s I was taught that the Question punctuation is more powerful than the Exclamation mark. I had a boss, the owner of a travel tour packaging company, and as a sales representative for Venture holidays I would meet with him at the end of the week in his office for a verbal summary. Mr Cook would never lecture or give instruction but calmly, and methodically ask and lead me to points he wanted me to understand and adopt with well structured and probing questions. Once I realised the power of such an approach I adopted as my own approach with associates, prospects and direct reports. Interestingly Tom Hopkins uses the same approach with a  pack of cards to demonstrate how he can get a predetermined answer through strategic questioning.

My mentor and good friend Tony Bongiorno helped my epiphany of the importance knowing the continuum of the sales process. Once this mystery was revealed I realised why I was missing opportunities, and just how important that it formed the basis of my success. And an important aspect with  those I coach no matter what their role or industry. I also realised over time, how many don't know or apply this key business development skill. Telling is certainly not Selling.

A man I never met, but read an attributed quote which also forms my approach to life,  first in business but one I also applied to my friends and family. He was the founder of Mattel, the toy company better known for Barbie and GI Joe who said "Never offer a Solution before you get the person VERBALISE the problem" After reading and understanding what he meant I never again went into a meeting without doing this and reaping the benefits of this approach. Priceless. Thanks Mr Mattel.

My learnings have not just from old wise heads but sometimes from the people I have mentored. Young Matt Bugg a toy industry up and coming executive shared with me the quote he liked: "When things aren't adding up begin subtracting" You need to be open to ideas and sometimes switch roles where the teacher becomes the student. Thanks Matt .

Whilst you might read and hear quotes and ideas a million times they often just bounce off, or we may be not ready for this new information. In effect we don't really internalise this new knowledge and adopt the action. Let alone convert to habit. But if you are committed to the idea of being better than who you are and pursue a life of mindfulness and learning it can  hit you like a bolt of lightning from the blue.

One of the ways I remind myself of this state of awareness is to every day review the past 24 hours and write a list of bullet points of Wins, Learning, Success and Progress. My aim is to have a 30 point list at the end of each day. These points could be small or big, My aim is for incremental improvement but also I realise that when I do have major break throughs to recognise such occasions and I give myself bonus points. If I am having a purple patch and get my 30 points, I immediately close 'shop' and give myself the reward of finishing my work early and indulge in a passion of the time.

One final key learnings which means more to me today than in my early years . Its importance grows with passing years. I read it in the  forward of autobiography of my good mate and lifelong friend Ian (Molly) Meldrum, music journalist and TV compare whose life came crashing down and dramatically changed when he fell from his roof as he made ready his house for a Christmas party 2 years ago. He said: LIFE IS SHORT!

For me it underscored the importance of what is important and I know it's not money! But health, family and friends. To take more risks, laugh more, and every opportunity to tell people I love them.

I would be interested to hear what your primary principles and ways you lead your life.


Keith Millar
Millar Inc
"Making GOOD people GREAT

Sunday, January 25, 2015

How my own war of the roses could threaten to make me smarter!





MY WIFE IS A  minimalist and I am a spreader and I am loosing the battle.

Let me explain.

My wife hates clutter A place for everything and everything in its place. You know the deal. Me? I start in one location and overtime spread.

In a bid for co-existence and harmony I really work hard to comply. But I am now down to one last piece of real estate in my home. My treasured book shelf in my study, which also is our shared office. "When are you going to get rid of that crap?" She regularly asks? Well I have told her I am going to bequest these hundred of books to my children and grand children. She laughs and responds  "what did they ever do to you to deserve that" Not funny! I think.

So to keep my spirit up and galvanise my determination to hold my ground I came with a goal. I have always looked to find the seed of equivalent benefit from a challenging situation. So my goal was to read every book in my bookshelves. Some 500 books and still counting.

I had been a lazy student in my youth. Preferring to play sport and participate in the social side of school. As I got older that changed and I became the eternal student continually looking to improve myself. It has become an obsession and reading books has been a growing passion. So my library is made up of personal development and biographies of the famous and the successful.

Ironically it was one of my heroes and great mentors, leadership guru Paul J Meyer said we should read less books. I was aghast when I heard this as it was totally at odds with my pursuit for greater knowledge. Until I realised what he in fact was saying. That we shouldn't rush from one book to the next without first understanding and  applying  the learnings before moving on to the next wiz bang concept. Everyone seemed to be looking for the quick fix.

Paul was a great advocate of repetition and developing habits to shape character.

So in concert with Paul pleas for us to understand and apply the learning from the reading
I intend to:

* read each book twice
* mark up each book for references so that I might review latter
* build relevant parts into my coaching curriculum
* create a PP and submit to Slide share
* do a workshop on the book to my peers, and finally write a blog post and share on my    LinkedIn profile.


Always up to a challenge I wonder if I have bitten off more that I can read.

In the meantime I would be interested as to how you seek out new knowledge, retain and apply this to your work and life.









Sunday, January 11, 2015

What is your Coaching Philosophy?






HOLIDAYS  BRING an opportunity to take a break and importantly reflect.

During the year I read in the sports media, when a new coach is appointed it referred to thier coaching philosophy, and to the young candidates that failed to get the nod  they were encouraged to take the rebuff as an opportunity to get clarity for their own coaching philosophy .

This got me thinking as what my own executive coaching philosophy is?

With contemplation I formulated  into 10 foundation keys which form the basis of my own coaching philosophy:
( I have divided into two halves for ease of reading.)

1/ Radiant thinking
In Coaching we must start somewhere. I practice radiant thinking, starting  with yourself, the Coach. First, I ask could I add value to this person, could I work with this person,
do I have empathy, what is my first impression, will this person be low or high maintenance and finally can we have some fun on the journey? These are questions I may have skipped over in my younger years, but now realised life is to short to work with people who may not meet this  criteria. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is not about me its about them, but the relationship must be built on a foundation of respect and trust,  win/win outcomes.

2/ Never offer a solution until you first have the listener  speak the problem
We being coaches are so eager to solve problems and offer advice, even when it hasn’t been asked for or verbalised. We don’t stop to ask if this is their problem, we are impatient and eager to set things right.
The listener nods his or her head …but doesn’t hear a thing!  So save your time and the frustration  when we realise the advice we suggested has not been taken.
The President of Mattel Toys (makers of Barbie and GI Joe) said: “Don’t offer a solution until the prospect verbalises the problem.
Excellent advice and true. But how you ask? That is the skill and discipline of a trusted adviser. Disciplined to refrain from offering the answer. And skill to ask the questions which will get the person to identify and voice the problem. If we say it they half believe it, if they say it they 100% believe.

3/ Save the Plasma for the Living
Not everyone will welcome your advice or take it. Some people are beyond help or have a greater desire to be the eternal victim. Or maybe its just a timing thing.
Salve your ego, and move on. Save your time and hurt and transfer your attention to those who want to be better than what  they presently, respect you and will actually put to action what you have recommended

4/ Three strikes you’re out.
You are most likely like me, in that you tend to see the world through rose colored glasses and give people continuous chances in their dealing with you. It might come with age but at some stage you say "what’s happening here?”. I now give people 3 chances for major misdemeanours. On the 3rd strike I adjust my relationship and in many cases move on- whether they be associates or  clients. This may be a little harsh and I am sure it is totally not their fault, but for whatever reason I settle for  less hassle and stress in my life.

5/ Its okay to fail
I once believed that failure was not an option and when it did I saw it as a total failure of me. In one business venture, I vowed I would succeed or  die trying. The latter I nearly realised. I learned before it was too late that sometime you must walk away if it is not working- for what ever reason. Failure should always be considered a valid option. It is foolishly and delusion to think otherwise. If you can walk away after giving it your best shot. Similarly you should sometimes tell the bad news to a client you are coaching if it’s not working for them. Time to shut shop and try something else. They will likely at some point thank you.

6/ The Question mark is more powerful than the Explanation point.
If we are going to bring about meaningful, sustainable change we must disturb the pattern of our client’s  thinking . This can only be done through questions which on one hand shows respect and on the other hand asks for  a review of their attitudes and current stand. We habitually make statements (which of course is figuratively followed by and exclamation mark) and is challenging the other party position. The  most likely response is for them to dig in and defend their position.

So it is with questions we are going to get the others  to embrace change. Try it!

What is your coaching philosophy?