HOLIDAYS BRING an opportunity to take a break and importantly reflect.
During the year I read in the sports media, when a new coach is
appointed it referred to thier coaching philosophy, and to the young candidates
that failed to get the nod they were
encouraged to take the rebuff as an opportunity to get clarity for their own
coaching philosophy .
This got me thinking as what my own executive coaching
philosophy is?
With contemplation I formulated
into 10 foundation keys which form the basis of my own coaching
philosophy:
( I have divided into two halves for ease of reading.)
1/ Radiant thinking
In Coaching we must start somewhere. I practice radiant
thinking, starting with yourself, the
Coach. First, I ask could I add value to this person, could I work with this
person,
do I have empathy, what is my first impression, will this
person be low or high maintenance and finally can we have some fun on the
journey? These are questions I may have skipped over in my younger years, but
now realised life is to short to work with people who may not meet this criteria. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is
not about me its about them, but the relationship must be built on a foundation
of respect and trust, win/win outcomes.
2/ Never offer a
solution until you first have the listener
speak the problem
We being coaches are so eager to solve problems and offer
advice, even when it hasn’t been asked for or verbalised. We don’t stop to ask
if this is their problem, we are impatient and eager to set things right.
The listener nods his or her head …but doesn’t hear a
thing! So save your time and the
frustration when we realise the advice
we suggested has not been taken.
The President of Mattel Toys (makers of Barbie and GI Joe)
said: “Don’t offer a solution until the prospect verbalises the problem.
Excellent advice and true. But how you ask? That is the skill
and discipline of a trusted adviser. Disciplined to refrain from offering the
answer. And skill to ask the questions which will get the person to identify
and voice the problem. If we say it they half believe it, if they say it they 100%
believe.
3/ Save the Plasma for
the Living
Not everyone will welcome your advice or take it. Some people
are beyond help or have a greater desire to be the eternal victim. Or maybe its
just a timing thing.
Salve your ego, and move on. Save your time and hurt and
transfer your attention to those who want to be better than what they presently, respect you and will actually
put to action what you have recommended
4/ Three strikes you’re
out.
You are most likely like me, in that you tend to see the world through
rose colored glasses and give people continuous chances in their dealing with
you. It might come with age but at some stage you say "what’s happening
here?”. I now give people 3 chances for major misdemeanours. On the 3rd strike
I adjust my relationship and in many cases move on- whether they be associates
or clients. This may be a little harsh
and I am sure it is totally not their fault, but for whatever reason I settle
for less hassle and stress in my life.
5/ Its okay to fail
I once believed that failure was not an option and when it did
I saw it as a total failure of me. In one business venture, I vowed I would
succeed or die trying. The latter I
nearly realised. I learned before it was too late that sometime you must walk
away if it is not working- for what ever reason. Failure should always be
considered a valid option. It is foolishly and delusion to think otherwise. If
you can walk away after giving it your best shot. Similarly you should
sometimes tell the bad news to a client you are coaching if it’s not working
for them. Time to shut shop and try something else. They will likely at some
point thank you.
6/ The Question mark is
more powerful than the Explanation point.
If we are going to bring about meaningful, sustainable change
we must disturb the pattern of our client’s
thinking . This can only be done through questions which on one hand
shows respect and on the other hand asks for
a review of their attitudes and current stand. We habitually make
statements (which of course is figuratively followed by and exclamation mark)
and is challenging the other party position. The most likely response is for them to dig in
and defend their position.
So it is with questions we are going to get the others to embrace change. Try it!
What is your coaching philosophy?
